Second Bookses

My discovery of Christopher Moore's vampire novels actually began with Bite Me: A Love Story. Not realizing it was part of a series, I picked it up at the library, read the first chapter, and was thoroughly confused. A friend pointed me to the two books that preceded this one, which I dutifully read so that I could tackle this one with some clue about what is going on.::: The Plot :::Continuing where You Suck: A Love Story left off, Bite Me: A Love Story begins with the intrepid vampire minion Abby Normal, who has moved into her vampire master and mistress' very cool apartment with her grad student boyfriend who's found a cure for vampirism. Let's ignore the fact that she's a high school student (and a minor) and somehow shacked up with her boyfriend.Abby has bronzed the vampires, determined to find a way to make sure their love survives, since Jody wants to remain a vampire while Tommy wants to go back to being human. While the vampires are bronzed, we learn that a cat has been turned to a vampire, and he has, in turn, changed tons of the city's cat population. The cats are decimating the homeless population and only the homeless Emperor seems to know what's going on.The rest of the novel is a confusing mix of new characters, a mutant vampire/human cat bent on taking over... something, and changes to vampire canon that leave the reader confused and, to be honest, annoyed.::: Bite Me Is My Sentiment :::It's a good thing I'm down for the count while recovering from surgery, or I'd honestly be annoyed with myself for the time I wasted reading these books. From the first book to this one, the amount of nearly unintelligible slang ramps up, the cast of characters appears to be a last-ditch writer's effort to keep the story going. Stuck? Toss in a new character. We have three new vampires introduced briefly at the end of the last book that we never learn enough about to actually care what what happens to them, a swordsman we met briefly in the last book as well who suddenly plays a huge part in how the story ends, and a Caribbean-patois-using wannabe Hawaiian minion.If you manage to keep the characters and the ridiculous plot straight to get through to the ending, you'll find yourself wanting to throw the book against the wall when you find out how it ends. Love story? Not even close. While some of the moments and dialogue were laugh-out-loud funny, even over the course of three books, I never felt like anyone in the story was someone I cared about. The "shocker" ending seems like a desperate ploy, but never at any point did I feel like these characters cared about each other enough to have fallen in love. All I know is that I sure didn't love any of them.This review was originally published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/Book_Bite_Me_Christopher_Moore/content_514535820932